Monday, October 26, 2009

Gramma OUTLAW – Held Hostage by Baby Skunkie

Heeeeeee heeeeeeee heeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I sorry mom and I can’t stop laffin; so its going to be very hard for us to type dis story. But dis story has to be told.

Heeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Gonna try to tell da story I promise. Without laffter interruptions, not sure how well that is going to work though.

*SMILES*

Dad parents (Mom’s OUTLAWS) came to visit dis weekend from da other side of da mountains. Itz bout a 7 hour drive for dem when dey come to visit, so dey stay for couple of days before turning round and goin back home.

Dis time dey came to see der grandchildren (dad’s niece and nephews) all pway Soccer. Da girl is 8 yrs old, da older boy is 7, and da younger boy is 4. Dis is der first year playin soccer so it is real fun to watch. Mom and Dad always come home laffin from da games.

------- OH NO… I got off track again. Dis story about Gramma and Skunkie

So... Gramma and Grappa OUTLAW came to our house Friday afternoon and stayed until late evening dat night (dey come back Saturday and Sunday too – dey stay in a HOTEL just to sleep). When dey come all da humans hang out in da heated garage to visit instead of in da house. Der are always about 15 – 20 of dem cuz all dad’s bruvers & sisters come, pwus der spouses and all der kids. Dis way da house carpets are safe from spillage of treats, juice, etc.

Anyway back to story … Mom had fed Hilter (outside sister cat) when it was jus startin to get dark. Hilter always eats all her wet canned food, but only eats little bits of her dry food and saves some til later, unless the skunkies or raccoons come to share first. Den mom sometimes has to feed her dry food again.

Mom fed Hilter and da silly cat only ate part of her dinner; so der were leftovers. About dis time gramma had to use da baffroom in da house. Unfortunately she was not quick about it. Since she took her time by the time she want'd to come out da front door Baby Skunkie had showed up and was eatin da leftovers. Apparently gramma told Skunkie to go away, but Skunkie wouldn’t leave. Gramma even tried to go out da door, but she didn’t move fast enough; da skunkie went down 2 steps off da porch, but came right back when gramma didn’t move quickly to the steps like mom does.

Mom always talks nicely and sweet to Skunkie – but gramma was yelling at Skunkie. Iz really suprised Skunkie didn't squirt her. Gramma even yelled through the screen door for dad tinkin da other humans in da garage would hear her, but no one did.

MOL - I sat in da shadows and grinned and giggled to my kittyself.

Mom said dat Grappa OUTLAW asked where gramma went and his daughter told him potty, but no one thought to go check on gramma.

It was about 20 to 30 minutes later dat gramma finally came into da garage, yelling something about being held hostage by da SKUNK. She went on and on and on. Da more she went on the more everyone laffed at her. She didn't think her family was nice laffing at her, but gramma OUTLAW is never nice - so who cared. Mom and Dad both told her dat Skunkie wouldn’t hurt her or spray her, but she didn’t believe dem.

She told mom and dad Skunkies needed to be shot. She told grappa to get gun outta car and shoot dem. Mom got mad and told her to leave her Skunkies alone. Dey not hurt anyone or anyting. If she got sprayed it was her own fault becuz of not talking nicely to Skunkies.

Gramma has poop problems so she had to go to bathroom again not too long after da skunk episode. Dis time she brought grappa to stand guard on da porch. Of course, gramma husband (Grappa) plus all her children and grandchildren laffed. Mom and Dad almost peed dem selves dey laffed so hard. Mom and Dad couldn’t stop laffin all weekend. Dey were still laffin last night when dey went to bed. Dey were tink keeping the Baby Skunkies around wasn’t a bad idea after all. If skunkies stayed near, maybe outlaws wouldn’t come visit as often.

MOL

Being held hostage by a Skunk – who would ever believe dat story?

Dey teased her all weekend. Yet, yesterday when dey went to go home Dad finally asked her why she didn’t go through da house and use da back door? Heeee Heeee Heee; den everyone laffed even harder.

I wanted to send da story to CNN “Grandma Kidnapped by Skunk! – Den held Hostage!”

MOL MOL

Mean old Gramma OUTLAW. What goes around comes around. Right now Skunkies are my mom’s best friend.

MOL MOL

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Get Me Tuna or You Get HairBall Stew!!

How do you remind Humans dat canned Tuna (in Water) is a necessity?

As a cat waitin for my Tuna fix I can tell you it can seem to take ages.

Mom must haved run out of Tuna last week. I have meeooowwed and meeooowwed every morning since. Mom and dad must be deaf cuz dey didn't even acknowledge me when Iz in da kitchen meeoowing my heart out.

I can tell when we have no Tuna. I can open da cabinet and there are no cans where da tuna is suppose to reside. If there were cans available I would knock them to da floor wit my big fat foot. Of course, I only do dat when mom and dad are at der works, so dey don't know it was me. Not sure how dey don't know dat cuz Iz da only critter in da house when dey are at work. I try tell mom it was her grandpa's ghost, cuz he loved Tuna. She just shakes her head at me.

She has tried to substitute Hilter's wet food for Tuna. Da other day she gave me some of that yucky stuff on my plate. I smelt it cautiously and den socked mom wit my big paw cuz it was not real tuna - you know the human kind. It was fake Tuna, you know da kind dey pass off to cats as real, not thinking dat da cats are smarter den dey sometimes look. And dey do know real Tuna from fake tuna. How Hilter can eat dat stuff is beyond me. But then again Hilter will eat anything mom puts on her plate.

Huffffff, grrrrrr, hsssss Still no tuna this weekend. I will eat my dry food, cuz it is very good, but I really want Tuna. meooowwww meeooow meeoooowwww

Yesterday mom came home from work with a whole bag full of Tuna cans, she sat the bags on the countertop, but did not offer me any. I really expected to be served immediately.

Sooo mom here's to you.

Cough Cough Hack Hack HairBall one.

Run Run Run Hack Hack Hack HairBall two.

Run Run Cough Cough Jump up onto dinner table. Cough Cough Hack Hack. HairBall Three.

Mom runs to open Tuna can. She knows that she has waited tooo long, and the hairballs have collected in my belly. So Mom... You are Too late!!! Now you have to deal with the consequences. HairBall cleanup.

Now it's mom's turn to hack hack gag gag. Mom hacks and gags until she is almost blue. MOL MOL

*whispers* serves her right!

Maybe next time she will remember to bring home Tuna immediately when we run out, or even better yet. Never run out at all.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Baby Skunks







Gotta Wuv Dem

This is some of my outside wildlife family that hang out on the front porch. These are only the babies, mom hangs out somewhere else until the babies are done eating. Then she comes and eats the leftovers; if there are any.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Huey

Mom came home yesterday talking about work.

They were having a safety day at work and giving away products. They even gave them bags for the products. Then there was the story of the K-9 doggie named Huey.

Apparently mom and her co-worker had to stop and pet Huey after asking permission to do so. I guess he is only 2 years old, so he is like a puppy in their eyes. Mom and Tina were both caring product bags, and mom was carrying a fudgecycle, a nice chocolately fudgecycle. Yummy she didn’t even think to bring it home to share.

So Huey had the nerve to put his head in Tina’s product bag, and decided he needed the contents more than Tina did. Then bored with Tina’s stuff, Huey the K-9 doggie decided to try to take my mom’s fudgecycle away from her. I am assuming that Huey is a chocolate sniffing dog.

Mom said she didn’t give Huey her fudgecycle but he sure wanted it. Tina offered Huey the Frisbee that she had gotten, but apparently it was not time for Huey to play. He was at work to do work. I think Huey was there to steal my mom’s heart. Cuz she sure smiled as she talked about him.

Grrr Hssss - If they are bringing doggies to mom’s work to steal mom’s heart dey can leave those dang doggies at home.

I am sure Tina’s anipals aren’t really happy with her either. Coming home with strange doggie smell.

Meowwwooooffff

Blog Block

I have had a severe case of Blog Block. I cannot think of anything to say somedaze.

You think with all the anipals that come to visit me I would have lots of stories. I admit there are quite a few cute stories, but for some reason I am having a hard time getting them into words.

I am finding myself just wanting to say Meow meow meow.

*Purr Purr Purr* - oh I keep forgetting Pixie-bobs don't purr. Well at least I don't. I think I do in my head, I want to in my head. The purr mechanism just don't work for me. So I just Meow and Hssss.

Blog Block... Hmmm what is there to say.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

One Of Those Days


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Wildlife on the Front Porch

Weekends usually entertain me, but this weekend the wildlife in the hood decided to surprise me.

It started Saturday morning around 5:30 a.m.

Dad was having his morning coffee, mom was still in bed sleeping and I was laying in the morning sun by the front door looking out the window.

All of a sudden here comes Baby the Raccoon, but as I looked closer Baby was bringing babies with her. Three baby raccoons. Do you know that they hop like bunnies and play like puppies and kitties? They were jumping and playing and ruff housing. They are sooo cute.

I started knocking on the window. Tap, Tap, Tap with my big paws.

I went and told Dad – Meow, Meow, Meow

Look, look, look I have new baby friends.

Dad came to the window laughing and asked me “Should we wake up mom? No, we better let her sleep, today is going to be a long, hot day with the car show.”

So Dad and I sat for almost an hour watching Baby and her kits. They ate Hilters leftover cat food, took baths in Hilter’s water dish then moved to Haley’s water bucket and almost fell in it. It was so much fun.

I kept pawing at the windows, I wanted Dad to let me out so I could play too.

Then they left. Hopping, skipping, rolling, laughing little raccoon babies.

“Come back, Come back… Mom needs to take pictures and she is still sleeping, you have to wait until she gets up to leave.”

They were gone.

The rest of the morning and afternoon was very boring, no mom and dad, no entertainment. Purrs Naps.

Then, that night when mom and dad came home the wildlife entertainment continued.

It was dark outside and very late. Dad was with one of his buddies out in the garage/shop. Mom had come in for the evening and was looking for a snack or two to nibble on. I offered her Nippers, but she said no, we couldn’t eat Nippers.

Hilter was meowing at the front door, so mom took her some kitty food. I guess she decided to give her extra in case Baby and her babies came for a treat too.

It was nice and quiet, when all of a sudden I got company at the front door. The front door was open, but luckily the screen door was latched and I haven’t quite got the muscle to open it yet, cuz I would have been out that door in a second.

My skunk came back, my skunk came back, I haven’t seen my skunk friend in weeks. Here skunkie, come closer skunkie I want to see you and your beautiful fluffy tail.

Tap, Tap, Tap on the screen door; let me out I want to play with Skunkie.

Mom came to see what the ruckus was about. She stood there almost like a statue, afraid to move. I was still tapping on the screen door. She finally slowly moved away and shut the actual front door.

No No No, Meow Meow Meow, Hss at mom – I want to play with Skunkie. I was throwing what mom calls my Winston kitty fits.

She got on the phone and called Dad in the garage and told him about Skunkie; Dad told her to sheww Skunkie away. I thought Mom was going to reach threw the phone and strangle dad. She asked him if he wanted to sleep with skunk smell all night. He said “no”, but he didn’t want Skunkie on the porch.

Do skunks smell bad? I want to know.

She went back to the front door and now here is Skunkie and Baby the Raccoon both on the front porch. Baby must have left her kits at home because they weren’t there. All I could think of though is “Oh my, this isn’t going to be pretty.” But they were sharing Hilter’s leftovers out of the food dish. I didn’t know Raccoons and Skunks got along. What an interesting site.

But where is Hilter, my wonderful outside sister cat? Hilter are you o.k.? Oh there you are, Hilter. In front of the garage door.

Hilter what are you doing? Hilter? Hilter has a mouse. She is throwing it way high in the air and catching it, dropping it, chasing it, catching it, and throwing into the air again. I hear her chirping at it. Meeeoooowwww Meeooow Meeooowww

Hilter does your mousie have a name? Hey Hilter do you see Skunkie and Baby? They are on the porch. Hilter ignores them, she is more interested in her mouse.

All this activity and I am locked inside with mom. Mom still can’t speak, she can’t move, she is absolutely amazed that all of this is going on at the same time. She is so amazed that she forgot to go get the camera and take pictures.

How can I have proof of this without pictures? I just don’t know what to do about her.

I don’t know how long this went on. It seemed like a long time. It was so fun to see all the anipals getting along, but eventually they left.

The mouse was dead, Hilter was hungry again; asking for more food since Skunkie and Baby ate everything that was left to eat.

Then dad called to see if they could come out of the garage cuz neighbor Brett wanted to go home and dad wanted to come in and see if mom had left any treats for him.

The excitement was done for the evening and it was time for me to have a nap and dream about tomorrow.

Friday, July 17, 2009

How to Respond to the Demands of a Cat

I have been having issues with my Human Dad.

He used to sit on the sofa and I would lay along side him when I wanted my belly rubbed. Now that it has been sooo hot out he thinks he needs to lay on the floor in front of the air blower machine (Fan I guess its called) to watch the TV.

I hate that air blower machine thing, it scares me and annoys me all at once. It blows my fur outta place, it blows my ears, and worse of all it blows my tail feathers (well I guess I don’t have feathers – that's Nippers my duckie that has the feathers on his tail). But my tail is almost short enough to be a duck tail.

I have finally gotten enough courage to lay in front Dad so I can get a belly rub or it won’t happen at all. But the Belly Rubs are different laying on the floor than they were when I was laying next to him on the couch. Maybe its because he is laying down and not sitting up. I just don’t know. Not enough torque on the belly muscles. I try to use mechanics words so he will understand. He gives his cars more belly rubs than he gives me.

The process of getting to the position to receive a belly rub often seems long and drawn out. I have to lay down, get up go in a circle, re-adjust my lay down spot, lay down again, this time more on my back and less on my side. Last night I had to re-adjust at least three times if not more. I would meow at dad during each rotation, and he would ask "Ain't I doing it right?" I would MEOW - NOOOO, and try again. I finally gave up gave him a even louder MEOW and walked away with my tail in the air. I had had it.

I really want to give the job back to mom.

I don’t know what mom finds so demanding, but she hasn’t been setting down very often lately so she is no help at the Belly Rubs, Nose Rubs and the gentle Tail Pulls that I absolutely adore. I like her’s the best anyway so trying to train Dad is a major kitty headache.

Oh then there is the issue of the Air Conditioner that has been placed in their sleeping area. That room is nice and cool. The room is very comfortable for sleeping, but the door has to remain shut for the room to stay cold.

I don’t know if I have told you this before, but I HATE closed doors. They let me in and I want out. They let me out and I want in. Why can’t they just leave the door open like they do the rest of the year. Of course, if I'm on the outside of the door I have the talent to open the door on most occasions, however last night I asked to go out the door and they blocked the door on the inside so I couldn’t get back in. I MEOW and MEOW to no avail. They purposefully ignored my demands.

That is NOT how Humans are suppose to Respond to the Demands of a Cat. If a cat MEOWs humans should immediately respond.

My opinion Humans need more training with their cats and less time away from the home at that place they call work.

Thank is my thought for the day. *Tail Up In The Air*

Thursday, July 9, 2009

"Haley" The Neighbor Cat – The Intruder


Haley, what can a cat say bout Haley??

Haley iz:
Orange
Fluffy
alwayz thirsty
alwayz hungry
alwayz lookin for attention

Haley luvs da raccoons
She iz alwayz hungry (oh I already said dat)
Now Haley is an intruder.

Mom haz alwayz been nice to Haley. If Haley sits at da front door and looks longingly into mom’s eyes, Mom always gives in and feeds her. Mom says Haley iz losing weight, mom’s afraid tat Haley’s humans aren’t feeding her.

Since mom luvs all living creatures, except maybe snakes – mom will run at da site of a snake. Mom will feed whatever comes to da door. Except humans, they can fend for themselves she says.

Haley hasn’t learned how to knock on da door like da raccoons do.

So last night…. Haley was hungry and causing a ruckus outside da front door. Mom could hear her and went and got her food. As mom was trying to get out da door to feed Haley, Haley decided to make my inside home hers. What da heck?

What is this big hug orange cat doing in my house? She walked in like she owned the place. Like she had been in the house before.

Now Haley is only 3 years old and we have only been in da house 3 years. As far as I know she has never been in da house, unless mom snuck her in. But I don’t tink so. She would have left orange fur and orange kitty smell.

I had to rub for over an hour on da spot she laid to get her smell off my carpet. Meeooowwww

I like her to visit with da screen door in-between us, I don’t need her to come in and get up-close and personal. She wanted to cuddle. Oh girl kitty germs.

Mom picked her up and took her back outside to her food dish. She apparently wasn’t dat hungry cuz she went directly to her water bucket and proceeded to try to drink da bucket dry.

No Intruders in my house, as long as I am da King.

NO NO NO .... No Intruders in my house!!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Woof Wednesday



I am feeling very blah today. Just want to hang out, hang upside down, or hang over the edge.


A friend sent me this picture and I thought I'd share.


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

True Name, Nicknames and Alias

My true given name: Jasper’s Winston Cup.
The mixture of it all came to being because my biological dad’s name is Jasper and then because my forever mom and dad love NASCAR and at the time it was the Winston Cup Series.

Nickname: Winston

Other Names that I hear to get my attention (alias):
Winston Cup
Butt Head
Fart Blossom (who me? Fart? I really tink it was dad)
Baby
Big Foot
Little One
Dumb Ass
Spikey (cuz of my short tail – I tink)

How my humans expect me to remember and respond to all these darn names is beyond me.

They are lucky when I respond to “Winston”, which I usually ignore.

What gets my attention the quickest? Hmmm let me see

#1 Dad laying down and on floor when he gets home from work and its after his dinner. He will yell “Winston, it’s time”. Then I know itz time for belly rubs. The long session.

After belly rub session, I like to rub back and forth in front of dad’s face and spike his nose wit my stubby tail.

#2 Mom opening a can of Tuna. Yeah its #TunaTuesday

Time to go eat

Monday, June 29, 2009

Introducing Winston and Nippers

video

Playing on my Kitty Kondo

video

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

ANOTHER COLOR CHANGE

BLOGGER didn't like me today.
Some of my colors changed mysteriously.
Tried to fix, couldn't get back completely to the original
Meeoowww Meeoowwww
Hsssss Hssss

Hilter, the Outside Sister Cat


This is my Outside Sister Cat Hitler (I type her name as Hilter) - her name is still under discussion. She orignally lived with other humans. The humans lived in my parents' rental house. Hitler is the name she has had for over 8 years, they gave her the name cuz of - well you can tell for yourself. When her first human parents left the rental house, they ask my mom and dad if Hilter could stay with us - my parents said yes and apparently we legally adopted her.

Mom and dad tried for a month to call her Charley (Charley Chaplin), she wouldn't come when called. So they went back to Hitler

Now since I have been twittering and blogging I keep typing her name as Hilter - maybe a good thought. Also one of my followers suggested Kitler. Another good thought.

But for me right now she is my Outside Sister Cat, the one with the mustache. I luv her no matter what mom and dad call her. She's mine.

Throw Rug - Mom vs. Winston

I have found this new game to play with mom.

We have been playing it every day for about a month.

I actually didn't know it would be so fun, but I get mom so frustrated I hope she will make me an outside kitty. No such luck yet though.

Hitting my litterbox everyday as soon as mom gets home is the key becuz she is in the laundry room which is where the inside garbage can and my litterbox are both kept.

I do my smelly business and then she does her daily cleaning of my messes. She goes outside the backdoor to throw away my mess bag. The backdoor exits out of the laundry room.

The game starts... I play with the throw rug. I scrape it with my foot, I lay on it, I try to roll around on it, then I try to hide my litterbox with it.

Its not a heavy throw rug, so it is easy to move all over the laundry room floor, and put into a pile when the mood fits me - which lately is everyday.

Mom comes back in and straightens the throw rug so it looks nice, and will be o.k. when dad comes in from work to wipe his feet.

She goes and changes her clothes. While she is doing that I continue to play the Throw Rug game and try to hide my litterbox again.

This time the throw rug makes it into the litterbox. Mom can hear mom - she peeks around the corner. I run run run run fast fast fast fast hide hide hide

Mom starts to straighten the rug again, my turn to peek around the corner. She looks at me out of the corner of her eye, but I pretend I don't see her do it.

I have to tell you mom keeps my litterbox very clean and fresh - so this game is not cuz I am trying to tell her "things stink". It's just my new game. I love the throw rug.

She has even tried to put the heavier throw rug in that area, but my paws are so powerful that I can move it too. Its just that if I play the game while mom and dad are at work there is no one home to get the rug out of my litterbox. I can kinda get the light one out of the litterbox by myself. I got big feet and iz smart.

We play this game all night. One night I heard mom tell dad that yesterday she had counted, she straightened the rug 15 times. That sounds like alot of times.

If it is alot of times it must be cuz I am having fun. Also as fun as batting my mice around.

I wonder how fun Duckie will be. Did I tell you mom ordered me a Duckie, so I can be part of the Duckie Club? I am soooo excited.

DUCKIE DUCKIE DUCKIE

Until duckie arrives in the UPS box, I will have to keep playing my Throw Rug game with mom.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Positive Side of the Weekend

Outlaws R Gone. Meeeeoooooowwwwwzzzzzzaaaaaaaa

Human Cuzins R Gone (children all under 8); they r way too busy for an old cat like me. I do not, and I repeat DO NOT like to be chased. Grrrrrrr

Hilter loves the kids, so she was designated babysitter.

No one stayed overnight at our house, so they didn’t mess my bed up. Cat hair is still in place.

Grandma-Outlaw brought lunch - which is good cuz people would have starved without it, mom only made sweet and sour meatballs, frozen kind from sam's club. She said no work needed for people that don't appreciate life.

Mom did contribute paper plates, paper towels, and plastic wear. Just so the outlaws wouldn’t go in her house and use her good dishes (and bother me in the process).

Grandma-Outlaw left good leftovers - only cuz she didn’t want to take them home and her daughter didn’t want them all.

Drama is over - grandma and grandpa continuously complain about the rest of the family, yet when they show up they are as sweet as sugar to them. Grrrrrrr - What does mom call that? Hmmm 2-faced.

I want to call them scar face - *HEADBUTTS*

Mom and dad wonder what they say about them? Must not be really bad, cuz they keep coming back. (That is a negative thing they say – should be on a different list cuz it's not a positive thing).

I get puter time again. Mom locks the puter room when company is there. She has caught the outlaws on the computer in the past.

Mom and Dad are back in good moods. **Purrrsss and nosetaps**

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Baby The Racoon


Me and My Big Fat Foot


Big Fat Foot


OUTLAWS, IN-LAWS, WHOSE LAWS?

The Outlaws (that’s what mom calls dad’s family) are coming this weekend. They live 5 hours away and they don’t give much notice when they come to visit. We just found out that they will be here Friday nite. Hssssss Hssssss

Mom calls them control freaks, dad tells her just to ignore them.

They are planning a birthday party for my dad’s 40 year old brother (he lives over east – 5 hours away too). Yet the party is at our house. Nobody asked mom or dad if it was o.k. Mom and Dad are very bitter. Sounds like 50 people will be here. I am going to hide under the bed in the backroom, my room. Sometimes mom tells me I might have to share my room, then I move to mom and dad’s room.

Lots of places to hide there from the evil children.

Sometimes they stay at our house, sometimes they stay at the human kondo (Hotel); that is what is preferred by mom and dad.

When they come they take over. Mom tries to stay away. Dad gets drunk so he doesn’t have to deal with them.

They raise terror at our house.

They don't believe in watching TV; they turn the TV off, mom turns it back on out of spite.

I have tried to bite grandma human. She stays outside most of the time. She don’t trust me anymore.

Now if I could only get the rest of the family to stay away.

Biting them is the solution.

Hsss Hsss

Growlllll Growwlll

Pounce

Bite

Oh blood, oh gosh I am so sorry

WINSTON'S LAW

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Cat Litter aka AssFault

Sorry I haven’t visited my blog in a couple of days

Mom hasn’t been feeling good, so we haven’t spent much time at the puter

Mostly cuddling, lots of belly rubs for me

Dad’s a dump truck driver, he usually works 4 daze a week, gone a long time those 4 days though

I miss him

He has been laying on the floor with me when he gets home, I love playtime with dad.

Yesterday he worked but he spent most of the day bringing lots of cat litter to our house with his huge dump truck. I didn’t know they made cars or trucks so big.

By the way Mom said to tell you that it was not cat litter, but actually recycled assfault (don’t tell her but I am going to call it cat litter anyway). The cat litter/assfault is 4 our driveway and parking areas. We have lots of play space, dad said it’s almost an acre. Dad was telling mom 10 truck and trailer loads came into our driveway alone.

My neighbor doggies Diesel (Rottweiler/Black Lab mix), Sammy (Long-haird German Sheppard), and Mercedes (Westie Terrior) also got cat litter/assfault in their driveway (dad shared). I don’t understand why they got cat litter cuz they don’t have any cats at their house only dogs.

Another neighbor doggie Chewy (Australian Heeler) got cat litter 2. No cats at that house either. I think dad is very confused.

I watched out the window as all the doggies rolled and rolled in the cat litter. It looked like they were having a party and they thought the cat litter/assfault was for them.

All my neighborhood kitty friends then came last nite and was checking out the piles at our house. They didn’t come to the door or the window to play with me like normal, they just played on the big piles of cat litter/assfault. Even the raccoons sat on the piles for awhile.

2 me assfault sounds like there should be a deformity in a critters butt, not something that goes in the driveway, but that is only a cat’s opinion.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Plant Delivery

Man in the Big Brown Truck came to the house yesterday and brought us a big brown box. I waited and waited for one of my humans to come home.

Sleep and Wait, Sleep and Wait

I’m awake now

Time to eat

Time to drink

Where’s my ice water, the water is there but the ice is gone –
it was there tis morning – where did it go? I didn’t eat it.

Take a nap, stretch, chase the fly – bug patrol that is MY job.

I hear gravel moving; Mom is home! Mom is home!

Hurry Mom we got a present, you have to open the present. Is it Santa time? Can’t be it's way tooo hot outside.

Mom brought the box into the house and got out the knife to open the box.

I got excited cuz the box had lots of those white peanuts in it. I love playing with them and batting them across the floor, but once I start trying to chew on them mom takes them away cuz she is afraid I will get sick. Meow Hssss

Once she got the peanuts out and into the garbage I noticed that there were green leaves in the box. Hmmmm Lettuce? Catnip? Whatever could it be?

Meow Meow – Let me in the box, I wanna see, get outta my way I WANNA see.

Lilacs. 3 of them

Rose of Sharon (human grandma’s name is Sharon). Is it Grandma’s Rose? No – our rose for our garden. There are 3 of those too.

Hydrangea, mom says its fluffy flowder balls can be 12inches diameter. She says it will be huge for a flowder. Is 12 inches bigger than one of my front footz? Cuz they are huge.

Butterfly Bush. Mom says it will attract Budderflies for me to watch, but I can’t play with them. They are delicate. Kinda like the birds in the birdfeeder. The Blue Jays and Crows don't look delicate. I love the finches, they look soft and happy.

So what is in the box for me to eat? "Nothing" get down off the counter? They'r not yours.

Meeeooowww Hssssssss

Mom took all the plants outside and watered them with the sprinkler, dad is planting them today. No greenery for me this time.

I really need to order some catnip, then my name will be on the box. It will be delivered to me.

The man in the Big Brown Truck will say "PLANT DELIVERY FOR WINSTON"

Thursday, June 11, 2009

PHOTO SHOOT

Camera is out

Mom’s checking its batteries and memory chip

I am so excited I can’t sit still

Purrrr Purrr Purrr (oh that’s right Pixie Bob’s don’t purr – It’s the Bob Cat trait)
So I pretend to purr, wrap myself around mom’s ankles

Run Run Run

Have to get rid of the extra sheddy hair I have

Rub Rub Rub

Now my hair is all over the edges of the sofa, mom will have to groom that later

It’s WINSTON TIME

Mom’s trying to take pictures, but I can’t be still I still too excited!!!!

She is giving me my commands

Sit – no I can’t do that now

Down – no I don’t want to do that either

She is on the ground at my level, laying on her belly - *Nosetaps* to the camera

Bad pic - all you see is my nose and its blurry

Do I want belly rubs? Heck yes I want belly rubs, but you have to put down the camera

Nope, she’s getting up off the floor
She’s taking the camera outside
She’s taking pictures of Hitler (my outside sister cat)

NO… It’s Not Hitler Time, It’s Winston Time. Come back inside with me.

Hitler poses good for mom, she lays down and gives mom a photo shoot of her belly, then of her long beautiful black tail, then she smiles so mom can get a picture of her mustache (her name sake).

Mom comes back inside, it’s my turn, it’s my turn.
Ankle rubs, oh no I almost made mom fall

Mom’s grumble about no cooperation, the camera is going back in the bag

Photo Shoot is over and I had no good takes
I thought the Butt shots were great, but mom just growled at me

Blog photos will have to wait until another day

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Photos Please

Dear Mom

Hey Mom - r you reading my blog?

Its layout is boring, i need photos.

photos of Baby the raccoon

photos of Hilter the outside sister cat

photos of Haley the neighbor cat

photos of our bird friends and their huge bird feeders

and most of all more photos of me and my big feet. I need to show how big my feet really r.

Quit watching CSI, CSI Miami, CSI New York, and all the zillion Law and Orders. They are all reruns now - you won't miss nothin

PHOTOS PHOTOS PHOTOS - get out the camera please

I'll even pose, well maybe i'll pose.

Pizza Pan Treat

IAMs dry cat food and tuna that's all i ever eat; IAMs dry cat food and tuna that's all i ever want

I have become more curious in my older years

I search the food bags as they come in from the store, i love to play with the bags but mom is afraid I am going to strangle myself

sniff sniff oh the smells are soooooo good

Bananas intrigue me;
pears, well i can't get them in my mouth;
grapes i steal and then play wit for hours on end,
they r better than kitty toys and ice cubes
at least until mom steps on them - yikes run away, fast

In the summer i luv corn on the cob - i luv the husk;
it makes me puke, but i love it anyway.
When mom is cleaning the corn and the husk falls on the floor i take it and run,
run like the wind, but mom finds me when i puke.

Lately I found something new and it wasn't in the food bag; it was on the counter top. It came out of the oven with a food frisbee on it.

Sniff Sniff Sniff

Mom and dad had dinner and then went for a walk. I decided it was time for some countertop detective work.

Sniff Sniff Sniff

Oh the pan is warm, just a little not alot.

Sniff Sniff Sniff - oh it smells wonderful, but its not tuna

Little lick, faster licks, ohhhhh yummy.

Door opens, I look up. Hi Mom

"What are you doing licking the pizza pan?"

Stupid kitty look. More please.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

No Sleep for Mom

Mom turned off TV at 9 p.m. I followed her to her sleeping spot.

I sang to her MEOW MEOW MEOW

She petted my head while I stood along side her sleeping spot.

MEOW MEOW MEOW

Oh she got up. She is getting me fresh "Ice Water"

"O.K." she says, "It's time for bed". She goes back to her sleeping spot.

MEOW MEOW MEOW

She rubs my head some more, and then rubs my belly - while I am standing up.

MEOW MEOW MEOW

Oh my, she got up again. She checked my food dish, it was full. Apparently I am not hungry. She went to the front window. No Raccoon, No Possum, No Skunk, No neighorhood cats, not even my outsided sister cat. Hmmm She can't figure out what I am saying and she goes back to her sleeping spot.

MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOWWWWWWW

O.K. she is up again. Dad continues to make his funny noises so I'm not bothering him at all. She asks me what is wrong. She follows me this time. I go to my room where the spare sleeping spot is. This is where she or dad sleep when they don't feel good and I have to human sit.

I jump up onto the sleeping spot and look at mom.

"No" she says. "I'm not sleeping back here tonight"

baby tiny mew

"No. It's time for bed, you have been pestering me over an hour and I need sleep." She picked me up and put me in my kondo.

She headed towards her sleeping spot. I waited until she was still.

MEOOOOWWWW MEOWWWWW MEOOWWWWW

I think I am in trouble

Monday, June 8, 2009

CHANGING COLORS

Rearranging everything at home is often an everyday occurrence. I like things on the floor better than on the countertops. They are easier for me to reach and play with.

Therefore, I am rearranging my blog, or at least changing colors.

Mom loves blue and I am trying to stay on her good side today, hoping she might like my blog when she checks on what I have been up to.

I knocked her water glass off her sidetable while she was sleeping last night. When she woke up this morning she stepped in a water puddle. I tried to drink it up, but it was just too much water.

Mom was not very happy this morning, she left without giving me tuna, all I got was dried kibbles.

Bad Winston.

DOORKNOBS

Let me tell you how tall I am. I am very tall.

Mom tries to tell me I am very long, not tall. We have this disagreement often. Meooowww Hssssss

She measures when I am on all four feetz; I meazure when I am on my back 2 feetz. I measure how tall I am by reaching doorknobs.

I don’t like closed doors, I don’t know why I don’t like them clozed, I just don’t.

In our old house before we moved only the front door and the back door had locks, none of the doors inside the house had locks. The bathroom door DID NOT have a lock. I learned when I got to my full height (or length as mom says) at about 3 years old how to open the doors by pawing the doorknobs.

Devil kitty smile…

Mom and Dad got used to me opening up the bathroom door during their shower time or their litter box time. They would just ignore me.

Now when company came to visit they weren’t alwayz real happy with me. I hate human company, I only like critter companiez. I would hide in the house until the company went to use the human litterbox and then I’d open the door and run away. Meow Hssss

In the new house the bathroom doors have locks. I do not like them, when mom wants private time she locks the door. When she takes a bath a nite though she leaves it unlocked in case I want to come in and have a sauna. I love saunas in the winter.

I can still open the doors without locks so mom and dad usually just leave the doors open. Sometimes they close them all to see how long it takes me to go around the house and open them.

I even have a new trick, closet doors. At the old house the closet doors had doorknobs and opened like a normal door. In the new house the doors are on sliders. I have to work a little to open those. Paw Paw Paw.

I like the one with doorknobs better.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Kool Daze

I am sooo excited that it has cooled off. It seems like the sun has been soooo hot for soooo long lately. Hssss. Yesterday it sprinkled from the skyz.

Mom lets me snuggle for longer periods of time now and my belly rubs are back to being as long as I want them.

Last night I was even able to sneak into the pile of clean hot towels that had just came out of the dryer. Mom had to answer the fone and I snuck into the very bottom of the cloz pile, I laid there real quiet. Oh it was sooo warm, it felt soo good.

Mom came back to fold the cloz and I came out and pounced at her. meoowwww teee heee meows.

She tossed one of the rag towels at me and we played and played. I even scrunched at her like I was going to attack, she wasn't afraid she just tossed the towel at me again. I grabbed the towel in my teef and ran wit it. Then my big feetz got in the way and I tripped and went rolling with the towel. I felt like I was a young kit again. Meowwww

I brought her my toy wit the jingle bell on it, I love tat sound, we played with that toy too.

It is so nice to be back to Kool Daze, playing wit mom and dad all nite witout overheating is great.

I hope the hot sun stays awayz for awhile.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

TOOO QUIET

Dad had to go out-of-town last night for work so it was just mom and me.

When it was time for bed, mom shut all the windows in the house, she said there are bad things going on in the area and she wanted us safe. I’m soooo glad she looks out for us.

Oh boy did it get hot… like a sauna. I didn’t even sleep with mom I tried to sleep by the front door on the cool plastic floor.

I didn’t get to talk to my neighborhood kitty friends, raccoons, possums, skunks or anybody. We had to use hand signs to talk to each other. That “WAS NOT” easy. I think I need an EASY BUTTON, they talk about them on TV.

The raccoons must have been hungry, they ran out of food fast. They asked for more but I couldn’t get mom to get up to let her know the raccoon friends were still hungry.

She just kept saying “Winston quiet”, Winston Quiet”.

She got louder but she wanted me to be quiet. I don’t understand.

The raccoons left, the possums came and they left too, they must have all told the skunks cuz they didn’t even bother to show up. The birds had all gone to bed, must have been too hot for them too.

No party at my house last night.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

SURVIVING THE HEAT

HOT HOT HOT… This heat has to stop.

I am drinking lots and lots of water to keep my tongue full of the licky wet stuff. Taking baths is hard, all my hair sticks to my tongue.

I try to cuddle up to mom for a belly rub, then all my hair sticks to her or comes off in her hand. She throws my extra hair away, I think she needs to donate it to the “Bald Kitty Fund”

Have you seen those bald kitties? They have NO hair. Don’t they get cold when the white stuff falls from the sky around the time Santa comes? They must almost have to live under mom and dad’s bed covers. Burrr I would be very COLD.

But thinking about being BALD, it would be great right about now – it would feel sooooo good.

Mom tried to put a cool very wet cloth on me. I don’t like water that much, just a little to help the hair do. I ran away from her and then came back and sniffed the cloth when she wasn’t looking. It felt good on my nose.

Mom and Dad brought home more of those things that blow air. They are all over the house now.

This must be how birds learn to fly. Their mom’s and dad’s bring home air machines and let them practice. I know I will be able to take flight at any moment.

I need a nap, I will stay far enough away from the air machine that it won’t blow up my ears. Just far enough away that it lightly blows my fir.

zzzzzzz

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Dad is sleeping in my bed

It has been very hot in the Seattle area, that is what the man on the TV thing says.

It must be true Mom and Dad have every window in the house open, and Dad has moved to my room to sleep at night. He brought this big huge noisy thing into my room that blows air all around. Mom says its too noisy and she can't sleep with it buzzing at her all night. So now I got to share my room. What is up with that?

I feel like the air chases me, I try to swat at the air to get it out of my whiskers. When I look out the window to see the racoons going up and down the tree the air blows right up my short stubby tail. How rude!!

Then of all things dad talks to me all night, when I try to answer or go up for cuddles he just coughs and sneezes and snorts and makes all kind of weird sounds, I wonder how mom sleeps with all the weird noises that come out of dad all night long. It seems like it would be easier to sleep with the loud air blowy thing.

Mom and dad just left for work, the house is quiet, now I get to sleep.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Skunk Skunk Baby

Laying by the screen door has become a habit lately. It is sooo hot in the house, and a nice breeze comes through the door.

Last nite a new friend came onto the porch last night, he is white and black. At first I thought it was my outside sister cat Hilter. She is black and white, white face with a black mustache. We rescued her when the neighbors moved, they left her for us. She luvs us lots and we luv her back but she sheds lots of white hair and mom has navy blue furniture, so she is an outside cat.

Don't worry mom and dad don't let her get lonely, they play with her outside alot, she follows them around like she is one of the puppy characters that make a strange barking sound.

oh darn... I am getting off my subject again.

Strange new creature on the back porch was not my sister cat. He did not make any noises, just drank from the water bowl. He must have been awful thirsty cuz he drank and drank and drank some more.

Mom looks scared, she told me if I got sprayed I would become an outside cat. I am not sure what it meant but I wanted to get sprayed bad.

He came up to the screen and gave me *nosetaps* then walked down the stairs and into the dark.

I thought he was beautiful with his big fluffy tail and grand stripe down his back.

I hope he comes back tonite I would luv to get to know him better.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Scotch Tape

Got into mom's "Collect All" drawer.

Found this stuff that was sticky on just one side.

First it stuck to my nose, then it stuck, to my paw, then to my tongue. Yummy it tastes good.

I found something like it on the papers mom brings in everyday from outside. She calls it mail.

I kept licking and licking, tasted sooo good. She took it away, said it would make me sick.

I got back into the drawer, mom shut it, I was able to open it again. She shook her head at me.

That drawer will have to wait until she leaves. Another secret.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hailey "The Neighbor Cat"

Hailey is orange and white in color. She is very big in size. Even bigger than me and I am big (being part Bobcat you know). I have huge feet. I have 7 toes on each front foot and 6 toes on each back foot. Mom says I am a POLYDACTYL CAT. That means I am special.

Oh... I forgot this was suppose to be about Hailey.

She came to visit yesterday and laid at the back screen door. The glass door was open, so the only thing between her and me was the screen door. She was swishing her tail

back and forth

back and forth

swish swish swish

I don't have a long tail, I have a bobbed tail, naturally bobbed I might add.

I was in a mischievious mood yesterday

watching that tail swish back and forth, swish swish swish

I decided I needed to pounce on it.

I scrunched down real low to the ground - o.k. carpet I was in the living room.

I was almost flat.

I ran... I ran fast...

I forgot there was a screen door.

CRASH

I shook my head, I shook my right paw - I meowed real loud - mom said I jammed it

Hailey said I was a nut case. I told her the nuts were in the bird feeder. Hailey ran away.

Game time over.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Slippin Slide

Ready, set, run, run faster....

Slide.... Those plastic runners mom put down are a hoot.

Ready, set, run, run faster....

Slide.... CRASH - the end of the hallway came to soon this morning.

Dad thought I put a hole in the wall.

O.K. I will head the other way up the hallway.

Ready, set, run, run faster...

SLIDE... oh no this time I slid right into mom.

I gotta practice while they are at work.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Racoon Friends

Everynight I have 4 racoon friends that come to the door.

When they show up I stand on my back legs and bang on the window next to the door so mom will know that they are ready to be fed.

I have tried to open the screen door latch and let them in (I am very tall or maybe I should say long). Mom gets mad at me cuz she is afraid that I will get out and go live with the racoons. They are not scared of me or my humans. Mom feeds them the cheap catfood (I get the expensive kind). Sometimes she lets them have raw eggs. Last nite I talked her into giving them peanut butter too. I read on the computer that racoons like that stuff - it is toooo sticky for me.

Someday they will come in and play, I just know it.

Winston's View of Life

4:15 a.m. - wake up mom and dad with a meow in the face and a paw to the nose.


4:40 a.m. - ask for tuna, tuna, tuna - has to be Starkist as I will spit out the generic brands.


4:55 a.m. - try to trip dad as he goes out the door, then I try to follow him out the door, but mom grabs me.


5:05 a.m. - try to trip mom as she goes out the door, oh there is the racoon - please let me play with him.


mom leaves - what I do now is a secret.