Monday, October 26, 2009

Gramma OUTLAW – Held Hostage by Baby Skunkie

Heeeeeee heeeeeeee heeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I sorry mom and I can’t stop laffin; so its going to be very hard for us to type dis story. But dis story has to be told.

Heeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Gonna try to tell da story I promise. Without laffter interruptions, not sure how well that is going to work though.


Dad parents (Mom’s OUTLAWS) came to visit dis weekend from da other side of da mountains. Itz bout a 7 hour drive for dem when dey come to visit, so dey stay for couple of days before turning round and goin back home.

Dis time dey came to see der grandchildren (dad’s niece and nephews) all pway Soccer. Da girl is 8 yrs old, da older boy is 7, and da younger boy is 4. Dis is der first year playin soccer so it is real fun to watch. Mom and Dad always come home laffin from da games.

------- OH NO… I got off track again. Dis story about Gramma and Skunkie

So... Gramma and Grappa OUTLAW came to our house Friday afternoon and stayed until late evening dat night (dey come back Saturday and Sunday too – dey stay in a HOTEL just to sleep). When dey come all da humans hang out in da heated garage to visit instead of in da house. Der are always about 15 – 20 of dem cuz all dad’s bruvers & sisters come, pwus der spouses and all der kids. Dis way da house carpets are safe from spillage of treats, juice, etc.

Anyway back to story … Mom had fed Hilter (outside sister cat) when it was jus startin to get dark. Hilter always eats all her wet canned food, but only eats little bits of her dry food and saves some til later, unless the skunkies or raccoons come to share first. Den mom sometimes has to feed her dry food again.

Mom fed Hilter and da silly cat only ate part of her dinner; so der were leftovers. About dis time gramma had to use da baffroom in da house. Unfortunately she was not quick about it. Since she took her time by the time she want'd to come out da front door Baby Skunkie had showed up and was eatin da leftovers. Apparently gramma told Skunkie to go away, but Skunkie wouldn’t leave. Gramma even tried to go out da door, but she didn’t move fast enough; da skunkie went down 2 steps off da porch, but came right back when gramma didn’t move quickly to the steps like mom does.

Mom always talks nicely and sweet to Skunkie – but gramma was yelling at Skunkie. Iz really suprised Skunkie didn't squirt her. Gramma even yelled through the screen door for dad tinkin da other humans in da garage would hear her, but no one did.

MOL - I sat in da shadows and grinned and giggled to my kittyself.

Mom said dat Grappa OUTLAW asked where gramma went and his daughter told him potty, but no one thought to go check on gramma.

It was about 20 to 30 minutes later dat gramma finally came into da garage, yelling something about being held hostage by da SKUNK. She went on and on and on. Da more she went on the more everyone laffed at her. She didn't think her family was nice laffing at her, but gramma OUTLAW is never nice - so who cared. Mom and Dad both told her dat Skunkie wouldn’t hurt her or spray her, but she didn’t believe dem.

She told mom and dad Skunkies needed to be shot. She told grappa to get gun outta car and shoot dem. Mom got mad and told her to leave her Skunkies alone. Dey not hurt anyone or anyting. If she got sprayed it was her own fault becuz of not talking nicely to Skunkies.

Gramma has poop problems so she had to go to bathroom again not too long after da skunk episode. Dis time she brought grappa to stand guard on da porch. Of course, gramma husband (Grappa) plus all her children and grandchildren laffed. Mom and Dad almost peed dem selves dey laffed so hard. Mom and Dad couldn’t stop laffin all weekend. Dey were still laffin last night when dey went to bed. Dey were tink keeping the Baby Skunkies around wasn’t a bad idea after all. If skunkies stayed near, maybe outlaws wouldn’t come visit as often.


Being held hostage by a Skunk – who would ever believe dat story?

Dey teased her all weekend. Yet, yesterday when dey went to go home Dad finally asked her why she didn’t go through da house and use da back door? Heeee Heeee Heee; den everyone laffed even harder.

I wanted to send da story to CNN “Grandma Kidnapped by Skunk! – Den held Hostage!”


Mean old Gramma OUTLAW. What goes around comes around. Right now Skunkies are my mom’s best friend.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Get Me Tuna or You Get HairBall Stew!!

How do you remind Humans dat canned Tuna (in Water) is a necessity?

As a cat waitin for my Tuna fix I can tell you it can seem to take ages.

Mom must haved run out of Tuna last week. I have meeooowwed and meeooowwed every morning since. Mom and dad must be deaf cuz dey didn't even acknowledge me when Iz in da kitchen meeoowing my heart out.

I can tell when we have no Tuna. I can open da cabinet and there are no cans where da tuna is suppose to reside. If there were cans available I would knock them to da floor wit my big fat foot. Of course, I only do dat when mom and dad are at der works, so dey don't know it was me. Not sure how dey don't know dat cuz Iz da only critter in da house when dey are at work. I try tell mom it was her grandpa's ghost, cuz he loved Tuna. She just shakes her head at me.

She has tried to substitute Hilter's wet food for Tuna. Da other day she gave me some of that yucky stuff on my plate. I smelt it cautiously and den socked mom wit my big paw cuz it was not real tuna - you know the human kind. It was fake Tuna, you know da kind dey pass off to cats as real, not thinking dat da cats are smarter den dey sometimes look. And dey do know real Tuna from fake tuna. How Hilter can eat dat stuff is beyond me. But then again Hilter will eat anything mom puts on her plate.

Huffffff, grrrrrr, hsssss Still no tuna this weekend. I will eat my dry food, cuz it is very good, but I really want Tuna. meooowwww meeooow meeoooowwww

Yesterday mom came home from work with a whole bag full of Tuna cans, she sat the bags on the countertop, but did not offer me any. I really expected to be served immediately.

Sooo mom here's to you.

Cough Cough Hack Hack HairBall one.

Run Run Run Hack Hack Hack HairBall two.

Run Run Cough Cough Jump up onto dinner table. Cough Cough Hack Hack. HairBall Three.

Mom runs to open Tuna can. She knows that she has waited tooo long, and the hairballs have collected in my belly. So Mom... You are Too late!!! Now you have to deal with the consequences. HairBall cleanup.

Now it's mom's turn to hack hack gag gag. Mom hacks and gags until she is almost blue. MOL MOL

*whispers* serves her right!

Maybe next time she will remember to bring home Tuna immediately when we run out, or even better yet. Never run out at all.