OUTLAWS, IN-LAWS, WHOSE LAWS?

The Outlaws (that’s what mom calls dad’s family) are coming this weekend. They live 5 hours away and they don’t give much notice when they come to visit. We just found out that they will be here Friday nite. Hssssss Hssssss

Mom calls them control freaks, dad tells her just to ignore them.

They are planning a birthday party for my dad’s 40 year old brother (he lives over east – 5 hours away too). Yet the party is at our house. Nobody asked mom or dad if it was o.k. Mom and Dad are very bitter. Sounds like 50 people will be here. I am going to hide under the bed in the backroom, my room. Sometimes mom tells me I might have to share my room, then I move to mom and dad’s room.

Lots of places to hide there from the evil children.

Sometimes they stay at our house, sometimes they stay at the human kondo (Hotel); that is what is preferred by mom and dad.

When they come they take over. Mom tries to stay away. Dad gets drunk so he doesn’t have to deal with them.

They raise terror at our house.

They don't believe in watching TV; they turn the TV off, mom turns it back on out of spite.

I have tried to bite grandma human. She stays outside most of the time. She don’t trust me anymore.

Now if I could only get the rest of the family to stay away.

Biting them is the solution.

Hsss Hsss

Growlllll Growwlll

Pounce

Bite

Oh blood, oh gosh I am so sorry

WINSTON'S LAW

Racoon Friends

Everynight I have 4 racoon friends that come to the door.

When they show up I stand on my back legs and bang on the window next to the door so mom will know that they are ready to be fed.

I have tried to open the screen door latch and let them in (I am very tall or maybe I should say long). Mom gets mad at me cuz she is afraid that I will get out and go live with the racoons. They are not scared of me or my humans. Mom feeds them the cheap catfood (I get the expensive kind). Sometimes she lets them have raw eggs. Last nite I talked her into giving them peanut butter too. I read on the computer that racoons like that stuff - it is toooo sticky for me.

Someday they will come in and play, I just know it.